Wednesday, June 3, 2009

FUNNY SMS


Funny

JOKES-HINDI SMS
PASSENGR 2 BUS-CONDUCTO KITNE GHANTE BUS ME RAHETE HO?CONDUCTR- 24 GHANTE!P- WO KAISE?COND- "8 GHANTE BUS ME BAKI 16 GHANTE BIWI KE BAS ME"

BOY: DARLING HUMARE PYAAR K BARE ME KISI KO MAT BATANA, GIRL: PRIYA KO TO ZAROOR BATAUNGI,KEHTI THI KON PAGAL HOGA JO TUJHSE PYAAR KREGA!

1 LADKI DARZI KI DUKAN PE JATI HE OR PUCHTI HE- JI YAHA GALE MILTE HE? DARZI:WAISE GALE MILTE TO NHI LEKIN AAP KEHTI HE TO MIL LETE HE

HUSBAND : TUMSE SHAADI KARKE MUJHE EK BAHUT FAAYADA HUA.WIFE : KAUN SA FAAYADA?HUSBAND : MUJHE MERE GUNAAHO KI SAZA JEETE-JEE HI MIL GAI

SHAADI PAR WIFE BOLI: AAP MERE PRANNATH AUR MEIN APKE CHARNO KI DASI.SHAADI KE BAAD WO HO GAYA CHARANDAS AUR WO HOGAYI PRANO KI PYASSI

TEACHER:PROVE THT THINGS COMPRESS WID COLD & EXPAND WID HEAT.STUDENT:SIR, GARMIYO KI CHUTTIYA 45 HOTI HAI AUR SARDIYO ME SIKUD KE 7 REH JATI

WIFE:KAL RAAT TUM NIND ME MUJHE GALIYA DE RAHE THE.HUB:TUMHE GALAT FEHMI HUI HAI.WIFE:KAISI GALAT FEHMI?HUB:YEHI KI MAIN SOYA HUA THA

SHARABI NE DOC SE PUCHA-AAP MERI SHARAB CHUDVA SAKTE HO? DOC-HA KYU NAHI. SHARABI-TOH MUM POLICE NE MERI 200 BOTTLE PAKDI HAI. PL CHUDVA DO

CIRCUIT:BHAI AMRICAN RASHTRAPATI KIDHERKO REHTA HAI?MUNA:DHOBIGHAT PECIRT:DHOBIGHAT BOLETOH?MUNA:ENGLSH MEIN USKO WASHING TOWN BOLNEKA

BOY ASKS: TUTE HUE DIL SE PYAR KAROGI, YA DIL TUTNE TAK PYAR KAROGI. GIRL REPLIES: TUTE HUE SANDAL SE PITOGE YA SANDAL KE TUTNE TK PITOGE

WIFE SAW SIGN BOARD BANARASI SARI 10/- NYLON SARI 8/- COTTON SARI 5/- WIFE:GIVE ME 500 RS I'LL BUY MANYHSBND=ANDHI,YE ISTRI KI DUKAN HAI

CIRCUT:BHAI YE DOCTOR LOG OPERATION SE PAHELE MARIZ KO BEHOSH KYON KARTE HAI?MUNNA:BOLE TO PATIENT OPERATION KRNA SIKH NA JAYE ISHILIYE

DAD NE ROBOT KHARIDA JO JHUTH SUNKE THAPAD MARTA THADAD: Y R U SO LATE?SON: XTRA CLASS.RBT SLAPD D SON SON: WENT FR A MOVIE.DAD: KONSI?SON: BAL GANESHA ROBT NE FIR MARASON: KAATIL JAWANIDAD: I'VE NVR SEEN SUCH FILMS. RBT SLAPD D FATHER MOM: JHUTH HEE BOLEGA, AAKHIR AAPKA HI BETA HAI. ROBOT SLAPD THE MOTHER.

AAJ MAINE 1 JAAN BACHAI.PUCHO KAISE? BHIKHARI KO PUCHA.. 1000 KA NOTE DU TO KYA KAREGA? BOLA- KHUSHI SE MAR JAUNGA. MAINE NHI DIYA

MUMMY:JO MERA SABSE JYADA KEHNA MANEGA,USSE HI ME YE SAARI TOFFIES DUNGISONU:TAB TO YE SAARI TOFFEE PAPA KO HI MILENGI.

BETA:PAPA APKI SHAADI HO GAYI?PAPA:HAAN..BETA:KIS SE HUI??PAPA:BEWKUF TERI MUMMY SE..!BETA:WAH PAPA GHAR ME HI SETTING KAR LI..!

BOY FRIEND: TUMHARE GHAR GAYA THA, MUJHE NAHI LAGTA HAMARI SHADI HO PAYEGI.GIRLFRND: QU MERE PAPA SE MILE KYA?BF: NAHI TUMHARI BEHEN SE.

BACHA: MOM KYA AAPNE MUJHE PAIDA HONE SE PEHLE DEKHA THA?MUMMY: NAHI TOBACHA: TO FIR PAIDA HONE K BAAD AAPNE MUJHE PEHCHANA KAISE??

WIFE: YE LADKIYO KO DEKHNA BANDH KARO TUMHARI SADI HO GAYI HE.HUSBAND: MATLAB YE KI ME DIATING PE RAHU TO MENU CARD DEKHNA BHI CHHOD DU

ONE PERSON ASKS TO ANOTHER:BHAI YE KHUSHI KYA HOTI HAI?SECOND PERSON REPLIES:PATA NAHI BHAI MERI TOH BACHPAN MEIN HI SHAADI HO GAYI THI.

SHIVJI-BHAKT MAIN TUMHARI TAPASYA SE KHUSH HU,BOL KYA CHAHIYE?MAN-D.J SYSTEM DEDO PRABHU.S-ABE GADHE!D.J.HOTA TO MAI DAMRU KYU BAJATA?

BHIKHARI:MAAI,EK RUPIYA DE DE!! 3 DIN SE BHUKHA HU!MAI EK RUPIYE KA TU KYA KAREGA?BHIKHARI:WEIGHT KARVAUNGA, DEKHNA HAI KITNA KAM HUA HAI

PATNI PATI SE:-AJI AGAR ME GUM HO GAI TO TUM KYA KAROGE...?PATI:-ITS A TIME TO DISCO,KON DHUNDEGA TUJKO, KABHI NA MILE TU MUJKO,ITS THE TIME TO DISCO..

WIFE : KYU JI! JAB BHI ME AAPKE PASS AATI HU TO AAP CHASMA PAHEN LETE HO? HUSBAND : DOCTOR NE KAHA HAI JAB SHIR-DARD AAYE TO CHASMA PAHEN LENA…

NARAD MUNI DHARTI PAR BEER PENE AYE,12 BOTAL PILANE K BAD, WAITER:APKO CHADTI KYU NAHI? NARAD:MAIN BHAGWAN HOON.WAITER:CHAD GAYI SALE KO…

RAMU ON CYCLE HIT LADY ACCIDENTALLY..LADY: "BREAK NAHI MAR SAKTE KYA?"RAMU: "POORI CYCLE HE MARDE AB BREAK KYA ALAG SE MARU?"

PATNI- JANTE HO MAINE 20 SOMWAR KE UPWAS KIYE TAB JAKAR TUMHEIN PAYA HAI. PATI- YE SAB NAHI KARTI TO KYA HOTA. PATNI- TUMSE BHI KOI GAYA GUZARA MILTA

WIFE:SUNA HAY KAY JANNAT MEIN HUSBAND KAY SATH WIFE KO NAHEEN REHNAY DETE HUSBAND:THEEK SUNA HAI.WIFE:AISA KYOUN?HUSBAND:ARAY PAGLI ISI LIAY TU USAY JANNAT KEHTE HEIN.

BHIKARI: SAHAB EK RUPYA DE DO. SAHAB: TUMHE SHARAM NAHI ROAD PAR KHADE HOKAR BHEEK MANGTE HO BHIKARI: ABE TERE EK RUPYE K LIYE OFFICE KHOLU KYA.

REPORTELALU JI. THE POOR WOMEN IN BIHAR DONT HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.LALU: U FOOL, TUM FTV DEKHTE HO? RICH WOMEN BHI CLOTH NAHI PEHENTI HAI.YE FASHIONWA HAI.

WIFE TO HUSBAND: SEE BREAKING NEWS.. 80 YR OLD MAN NE SHAADI KAR LI.HUSBAND: SARI UMAR SAMAZDARI SE BITAYI, AKHRI ME BEWAKUFI KAR HI DI

1 ADMI APNI BIWI SE BOLA-RAJA DASHRATH KI 3 RANIYA THI.IS HISAB SE MAIN 2 SHADIAN OR KR SAKTA HU.BIWI-BAS ITNA YAD RAKHNA K DROPDI K 5 PATI BHI THEY.

TEACHER STUDENT SE:TERE PITAJI KI KARDE NE STUDENT:JI WOH PWD CHALAUNDE NE!TEACHER:TERA MATLAB PUBLIC WORKS DEPARTMENT?STUDENT:NA JI NA,PWD MATLAB PAKODEYAAN WAALI DUKAAN

PATI PATNI ME LADAI HO GAI,PATI GHAR SE CHALA GYA RAAT KO PHONE KARKE PUCHA:"KHANE ME KYA HE PATNI:ZAHER PATI:ME DER SE AUNGA,TUM KHAKAR SO JANA

SINDHI CALS NEWS PAPER OFF. 2ASK RATE 2 PRINT 4 MORTUARY CLERK:RS50 PER WORD S:"DADA DEAD" C:NO,MIN 5 WORDS S:OK,DADA DEAD,HONDA 4 SALE!

EK BACHA PAIDA HOTE HI NURSE SE BOLA-MOBILE HAI KYA?NURSE:-HAI PR TU KYA KAREGA BACHA:KUCH NHI BS GOD KO MISS CAL KRNI HAI KI ME PAHUNCH GYA.

TEACHER-OSAMA KI 5 BIWI & 20 BACHCHE.LALU KI 1 BIWI AUR 9 BACHCHE,TO BATAO KAUN ACHCHA? STUDNT-SCORE TO OSAMA KA ZYADA HAI PAR STRIKE RATE LALU KA ACHCHA HAI

BOY:TUM GAANA BAHUT ACHCHA GAATE HO.GAL:NAHI, MEIN TO SIRF BATHROOM SINGER HOON.BOY:TO BULAAO NA KABHI, MEHFIL JAMAATE HAIN

MUNNABHAI: TERAY KO MAALOOM HAI K CIGARETTE AIK TARAH SAY SLOW POISON KA KAAM KARTA HAI. PATIENT: TO MUJHAY KONSA MARNAY KI JALDI HAI.

TEACHER : USNE KHUDKHUSHI KAR LI, USE KHUDKHUSHI KARNI PADI, FARAK BATAO STUDENT : PEHLA PADHA LIKHA BEROJGAR THA, DUSRA SHADI-SUDA THA

A NEW TEACHER JOINS SCHOOLHE FINDS TWO BOYS SIMILAR IN APPEARANCE.TEACHER ASKS - "KYA TUM JUDVA HO.??BOY-: JEE NAHI..HUM PADOSI HAIN.

WHY DID HARBHAJAN SLAP SRISANTH..?AFTR D MATCH HE ASKED BHAJJI 'OYE PAJI, LOG CHLOROMINT KYU KHATE HAIN?'BHAJJI SLAPPED & SAID 'DUBARA MAT POOCHHNA'

JYOTISHI LADKE KA HAATH DEKHKAR BOLA: "BETA TUM BAHUT PADHOGE"LADKA: "SAALE,PADH TO MAIN 3 SAAL SE RAHA HU, YEH BATA PAAS KAB HOUNGA...??"

WHY DID HARBHAJAN SLAP SRISANTH..?AFTR D MATCH HE ASKED BHAJJI OYE PAJI, LOG CHLOROMINT KYU KHATE HAIN?BHAJJI SLAPPED & SAID DUBARA MAT POOCHHNA

EK AADMI DUSRE ADMI KO PEET RAHA THA AUR KHUD JOR JOR SE RO RAHA THA. JAB LOGO NE USSE PUCHA KI TUM KYO RO RAHEHO TO USNE KHA- JAB MAI ISE CHODUNGA TO YE BHI MUJHE ISE TRAH PITEGA.

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